We are pleased to review the Hillary Clinton nutcracker, recently named one of the top ten stupidest gifts of the Christmas season.

The Hillary nutcracker was invented by 15-year old Frank Freeman of Rochester, New York, who is undoubtedly a Democrat. Freeman calls it a “very intelligent product when you think about it. You got to be tough to take on the tough nuts. I think it will become a pro-Hillary product.”

Why would anyone call this a stupid gift?

We recently benchmarked the Hillary nutcracker against our rigorous testing criteria. On our famous five star DOPE system, we give the Hillary nutcracker five stars.

Durability – There is no doubt that Hillary can break nuts. Vince Foster found out the hard way. Don’t cross this nutcracker or you are likely to find yourself as a brownie ingredient, over and over again.

Originality – Nobody else has one of these, especially your friends. Promise.

Practicality – Who doesn’t need a nutcracker around Christmas? Who doesn’t want an authoritative nanny figure symbolically watching over your kids as they open presents? And during the off-season, you can put her on the nightstand under your yellowing portrait of JFK.

Entertainment Value – Liberals will love this gift because it puts Hillary in the supremely confident, entirely feminist role in which she is most comfortable. Conservatives will appreciate the fudge.

Final rating: 5 stars.