Forget about protesting against the 1%-ers, the super-rich, the super-elite. The Occupy movement is now planning to attack Main Street and the malls with Occupy Black Friday Sales, 2011. Disrupting all those wonderful midnight sales at retailers like J.C. Penney, who are giving away free Mickey Mouse snow globes. If that isn′t American consumerism at its finest, I don′t know what else could be. This change in strategy could prove to be a huge mistake. Instead of facing police armed with pepper spray, Occupy protesters will have to contend with bargain-hunters armed with Sunday circulars. A lethal combination!

black friday sales
Black Friday sales begin Thanksgiving Thursday night and draw large, determined crowds of shoppers. Image Credit: Johnny Louis /

Anyone who has ever been to one of these late night, Black Friday sales events knows precisely what I am talking about. For crying out loud, people DIE at these sales! Every year there is a story of somebody being trampled to death. That′s just when they open the doors! Wait and see what happens when that last 32-inch LCD TV for $99 is on the shelf, or the last Martha Stewart 300-count Egyptian cotton Colonial doily is left. It′s enough to drive some of us to forget about Christmas and practice Festivus, instead.

The Occupiers have also forgotten that when it comes to establishing a presence, setting up tent cities outside a Best Buy or Wal Mart, the protesters are mere amateurs. Black Friday sales shoppers have long experience in staking out their positions on the ground. They also know the best places to park, too! If the protesters think they can just schmaltz on in and take over, they will be in for a rude awakening.

Occupy Wall Street and similar groups would do well to stay in their established camp sites and forget about Occupy Black Friday Sales 2011. Not many ultra rich shop at J.C. Penney, even if they are giving away free Mickey Mouse snow globes on Black Friday. So the people they will be colliding with are the 99% who do shop at Penneys, Wal Mart, Best Buy and Target. The average Black Friday sales shopper is a fanatic, too, and far more experienced at seizing ground, and bargains, than any Occupy protester. I shudder to think of the carnage!