Many of us view the sexual escapades of our nation’s elected Senators and Representatives as a sign of the egoism of these individuals who incessantly feel the need to engage in such immature and reckless sexual behavior. Witness the latest case. Apparently, Weiner believed that sending Tweets of his own private parts to strange women would titillate them into paroxysms of reciprocation. Well, no less an authority on adolescent fantasizing as Playboy Magazine has decided to use this latest case as an opportunity to provide an educational venue for our nation’s leaders.

According to The Hill, the latest edition of Playboy has provided tips on how members can engage in illicit sexual behavior without becoming involved in a public scandal. I assume that these lessons will be photo-copied and provided to each of the members for immediate memorization.

The first directive is to avoid sex, if possible, with constituents, legislative staffers/interns, or call girls. Instead, it is preferred to find comfort in the arms of lobbyists, or current or former members of Congress.

The next instruction is to know which hotels are the best for discretion in DC. According to the article, hotels which provide the best service in this regard are the St. Regis, the Willard, and the Ritz-Carlton. Playboy adds a codicil to this which is to remember to tip the concierge and doorman well at these establishments to ensure that privacy is maintained. Avoid the Mayflower Hotel, though, where Eliot Spitzer had some of his assignations. My guess is that this will severely impact the Mayflower’s business model.

Also, the magazine provides advice on where to dine with paramours. Avoid restaurants where paparazzi are likely to congregate such as Morton’s, the Capital Grille, or the Monocle Restaurant.

When engaging in extramarital behavior, the article recommends removing the Congressional lapel button in order to maintain some anonymity. It also urges members to conduct their escapades during daytime hours when they can always contend that they were involved with Congressional hearings rather than meetings which are usually conducted in a more horizontal setting.

I trust that our legislators will follow these recommendations; these continual scandals are really getting tiresome.