I assume politicians, like many of the rest of us, make New Year’s Resolutions. But I’ll bet that many of them are too busy with all of the changes in DC to figure out resolutions for themselves this year; Therefore, I am offering mine for them here so that they don’t have to think of their own.

Barack Obama – Hold press conferences weekly, or at least monthly. Up until now, President Obama only has a press conference when he has what he perceives to be good news. This seems analogous to me of a kid who only shows his report card to his parents when he did well. Eventually, the parents catch on that they only get to look at them two or three times per year, which causes them to distrust the kid.

A president has one clear advantage over his opponents. He speaks with one voice, while his opponents reflect all of their districts and states. So their voices are much more muddled, permitting him to have an edge in keeping control of the agenda. Obama has not made effective use of this advantage in his first two years.

John Boehne
r – He has founbd himself promoted from perhaps the 500th most important job in DC to arguably the second in importance. He has done nothing to warrant this promotion, other than step aside and watch the opposition self-immolate. So, my resolution for Speaker Boehner is to stop working banker’s hours (9:00– 4:00, Monday-Friday). I’m sure that a number of people like that he works on his tan and his golf handicap. This might be the year that he tries to coalesce his majority by actually producing legislation that will get to the President’s desk, and pressure the White House to accommodate itself to the House Republicans.

Nancy Pelosi – On the other hand, due primarily to your ideological fixations, your new position is pretty powerless. My resolution for you is to hide from the media; when a talk show wants a House Democrat, let somebody else take center stage. You could instead work on your tan and you golf handicap. The latter is a sure way to build humility.

Harry Reid – Take a speech class, please. It’s hard to believe that a politician can succeed when his every paragraph could be used as a Sominex commercial.

Hillary Clinton – Quit counting on your media acolytes to defend your incompetence. I’m sure that Wikileaks will expose even more deviousness in 2011. I know it might be too much to expect you to serve the people without only caring about yourself. But just try to be a little more competent.

Mike Bloomberg – see Hillary Clinton (above).

To our readers and the other (much more articulate than I) writers – I hope each of you has the best year of your lives in 2011. Prime number years should always be especially celebrated, I think.