One of these things are not like the other.
Yes, it’s April 1, i.e. a day of April Fools Jokes that, when blogging about politics, is often difficult to segregate from the other 364 days of the year. However, one of these items is not a joke. Is a name change in store to make Google Topeka? Is the President’s state about to implement an Illinois Pet Tax? And does Rep. Hank Johnson believe Guam capsizing is a possibility?
Only one isn’t a joke. You get two guesses.
Illinois Pet Tax
Massachusetts DJs first broke the story. On Mix 104.1, DJs Karson and Kennedy had learned of a pet tax to help subsidize the cost of the new health care reform bill. Massachusetts would be first. Then radio stations in Illinois also broke the news their state would be second.
Someone has to pay for all this free health care. Obama never said animals wouldn’t be paying taxes. Trees, also, might want to consider uprooting to Canada.
The legislation was reportedly proposed by Gary Richardson of Amherst Massachusetts, creating a tariff on domesticated animals that would be priced according to their weight. It’s unclear if fish, spiders, lizards, or Obama’s Bo is subject to the tax.
Just like free health care is a joke, so is the Illinois Pet Tax.
Google goes “Topeka”
Instead of saying you are “googling” information, you’ll want to “topeka” it. For one month, Topeka, Kansas has changed it’s name to Google, Kansas (totally serious). And for one day, Google has changed it’s name to Topeka.
The identity crisis, at least on Topeka’s part, appears part of a publicity stunt to nominate their city as one of the few cities chosen for Google’s superfast broadband networks.
It’s a better idea than a gaggle of naked PETA supporters descending on your town.
The broadband networks will be built in a limited number of communities whose leaders nominate their city and, as Topeka sees it, make a virtual splash.
So to repay Topeka’s kind or quirky or outlandish move, Google has become Topeka until the end of the day.
That’s two down so the last one left, sadly, is real. But you already guessed that, didn’t you.
Rep. Hank Johnson’s Guam comment
Yes, he said it. I believe the man deserves pity more than scorn and then a swift retirement. He’s been battling Hepatitis “C” for over a decade, he announced last year, and his health is apparently been seriously affected, affected enough the man believes the 175,000 populated island will tip over with an addition of 8,000 US service members and their families.
“My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize.”
He made the statement to Adm. Robert Willard during a House Armed Services Committee hearing last week.
Instead of correcting his mistake, admitting Guam is attached to the sea floor and thus rather sturdy in it’s rightside up’ness, a Johnson spokesman said the lawmaker was concerned the influx of military personnel would overwhelm the island’s infrastructure and ecosystem.
Thus making it capsize. It’s unknown if Rep. Hank Johnson has been reading Paul Gallico’s The Poseidon Adventure. Or perhaps watching the dissatisfying movie remake, as most remakes are.
Visit other April Fool’s Jokes – other than the Google Topeka name change, the Illinois Pet Tax, and pitifully Rep. Hank Johnson’s Guam capsize comment that turned out to be real – here. In the meantime, enjoy this emission free unicorn-lovin’ April Fool’s ad from the NRSC.