An Arizona University physicist believes E.T. is here. Or at least some of his bacteria, since aliens are known for their poor hygiene and leaving cheek swabs all over the galaxy.

He will be presenting his idea to the Royal Society, the UK’s National Academy of Science, to urge scientists to take their heads out of the clouds and stick them in the ground. Alien evidence is more likely to appear in deserts, volcano hangouts, salt-saturated lakes, or Antarctica, than in the stars, he says. In other words, “places where ordinary life struggles to survive.”

He has it all wrong. If evidence of extra-terrestrials can only be found where ordinary life can’t survive, forget Antarctica, go to Washington. In fact, I’d start with the House of Representatives, specifically 2252 Rayburn, the office of Rep. Barney Frank.

Here’s what you need to know about Frank. If there is an alien life form on this planet, he’s it. Or knows it or talks with it or possibly dated it.
Frank isn’t all bad. He enjoys long walks on the beach, dancing in the rain, running male prostitution out of his apartment, and he absolutely adores two fun-loving mortgage providing youngsters called Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Like Papa Bear to two Baby “Housing Market Collapsing” Bears.

In 2003, Frank had this to say about the Bush Administration’s attempts to reform these crazy kids:

“These two entities—Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac—are not facing any kind of financial crisis,” said Representative Barney Frank of Massachusetts, the ranking Democrat on the Financial Services Committee. “The more people exaggerate these problems, the more pressure there is on these companies, the less we will see in terms of affordable housing.”

Keep your hands off his children. He wants to hug them and squeeze them and pet them and call them George, his very own.

On Friday, however, he changed his mind. He’s calling for their annihilation. Off with their heads!

“I don’t know anybody who thinks Fannie and Freddie should continue,” said Franks, who chairs the House Financial Services Committee.

Now you could say the guy is a bit fickle in love. Or perhaps it’s a family squabble since Frank has been the Godfather to their Consigliere. Whatever the real reason, he’s put a contract on their heads. And those under the Fannie and Freddie umbrella, as in living in homes financed through the mortgage companies, might demand more explanation than is being offered before Frank’s Massachusetts re-election bid this year.
Oh, and lest we forget, Frank was for ObamaCare before he was against it, a prime talking point for a conservative challenger.

Yut yo.

Personally, if I were Frank, I’d go with the alien defense.

UPDATE: Barney “not the lovable dinosaur” Frank’s quote is from 2003, not 2005 which I earlier reported. Copy is corrected, as am I.
Curtsy to Donald!