Scott Brown won because he drives a truck.

It wasn’t because of a backlash from a ballooning federal government, dissatisfaction with ObamaCare, irreconcilable national debt, voter frustration from being ignored, an administration with total lack of transparency, being bullied by union thugs, touted as racists, broken Presidential campaign promises, government take over of the private sector, proposed tax increases during a recession, skyrocketing unemployment, the war against affordable energy, disrespect of the American citizen, constant targeting of America as the enemy, giving civil rights to foreign terrorists, guilt trips without end, or a resurgence of conservative principles.

Nah. It’s because he drives a truck.

Americans are ridiculous like that. Admit it, we’re a bit dumb. Especially conservatives, Tea Partiers, or anyone who watches FoxNews. We vote for candidates because they are white, male, attractive, posed semi-nude 20 years ago, or drive trucks.

We love to spit, drop our ‘g’s and scratch our head because our brain itches. And we hate simply because we’re haters.

And to show solidarity with Brown, we’re now buying GMC trucks. Massachusetts dealerships are seeing a surge in interest for the GMC Canyon, the same as Brown’s 2005 model. He’s even been tagged the ‘one-man stimulus package’, a feat Obama couldn’t accomplish with $787 Billion, a Cash-for-Clunkers program, and the complete government take-over of the automobile industry.

That must really stick in his craw. (I’m a conservative, thus a redneck, and we say things like this all the time.)

We’re going to buy pick-ups because that’s what we do. We’ve single-handedly made the Ford F-series the top-selling vehicle for 28 years. Then we attach a gun rack on the back, buy mud flaps with naked female silhouettes, and drive with a bible sitting precariously on our dashboard.

Conservatives, Independents, anyone who doesn’t praise Obama or have a small statue of him in their living room, are nothing more than lemmings. If you don’t get a tingle up your leg when the most transformational President in history speaks, which means you should be in a near constant state of thrill, then you’re simply unevolved.

And you probably drive a truck.