As I prepare to head out this Christmas to my usual family gatherings, which actually began last night (the 23rd). I’m reminded of a past Christmas, last Christmas. The usual took place, my wife and I along with our two kids headed out to my mother’s for the Christmas Eve gathering; it consisted of my mother, father, brothers (complete with wife and kids) and my wife and two children.
Nothing unusual, the same old same old; which is kind of the point I suppose. One of the many things that people complain about this time of year is our inability to truly enjoy the Christmas season. We’re so busy with the hustle and bustle, shopping, eating, parties, and a myriad of other activities that fill our time from about Thanksgiving on.
I don’t know how many times I’ve told myself, made a deal with myself, that I would stop and really enjoy the season. After all, it is the best time year, right? I didn’t make that deal this year; I knew I couldn’t keep it.
When I was a kid it surely was the best time of year. My mom and dad made it so. I can’t explain to you, actually I need not explain to you, how special Christmas time at my house was. The Christmas Eve gathering at my grandmothers, the house full of family and sometimes friends; my brothers and I could hardly wait for “picture time” to be over so we could tear into the presents. I see that same excitement in my kids even today as we go to my mother’s house.
It began to change when my grandfather passed; he battled prostate cancer for a year and lost the battle, physically. Spiritually and mentally he beat the heck out of it. He spent one last Christmas with us in 2000 before he left this world in January 2001. I suppose he knew as well as we that that was his final Christmas with us. Christmas at my grandmothers has never been the same, nor will it ever be.
That brings me to last Christmas. The death of my grandfather along with other factors (which I’ll refrain from mentioning) prompted us to change our family Christmas tradition. A few years back we stopped going to my grandmothers on Christmas Eve and changed the venue to my mother’s house. We still went to my grandmother’s, just one day earlier. She has a hard time letting go of her traditions as well.
At my mother and father’s we had a great time. Just spending the day together, eating and just being together as a family, we ate, opened presents, and just enjoyed each other. Nothing different, nothing special, or so I thought. But last Christmas was more special than I could have ever known sitting there in my dad’s den, watching my two kids get more stuff than they needed.
You see, without any possible way to know, it was my last Christmas with my father. He later told my mother that it was the best Christmas he’d ever had. To me it seemed like every other Christmas, to him it was special for one reason or another. To me now, it’s very special. Less than a month after that Christmas Eve, my father would be gone; taken suddenly with no warning.
The past Christmas traditions that I held so dear have been turned upside down. They no longer exist. They’re gone forever. New traditions have sprung up in their place, new traditions that I’ll need time to get used to. Before I head to my mother’s house to spend what will be a very painful night with my family, I wanted to share with you a thought or two about Christmas traditions as they pertain to family.
Some of you know what I’m talking about, your traditions have been gone for some time; and you miss them. Others of you still have your Christmas traditions intact. They won’t always be that way. So here’s what I leave you with. Enjoy it, treasure it, and treat it as your last. You just never know, it could very well be.
December 24th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
What I miss most were the Old Country traditions incorporated into our American Christmas.
My mother was second generation Polish and my father third generation Italian. Christmas Eve was spent with the Italian side with our grandfather, aunts, uncles and about two dozen cousins.
Christmas Eve dinner consisted of the obligatory ham, and an assortment of pastas, seafoods and cheeses. After dinner my grandfather would usually lead the other adults singing Italian songs while the kids fidgeted waiting to open their presents. After opening gifts we would all gather for the annual family picture. Then the adults would sit around the table playing poker while the kids ran amok.
Polish Christmas was much more subdued with a traditional ham dinner highlighted with a plum pudding flambe. After opening gifts we would do the traditional breaking of the Oplatki. A wafer passed around and wished upon.
As we all got older and went our own ways the old country traditions died off. I had forgotten about Oplatki until my sister in Tennessee mentioned it a couple of years ago. I now have a package shipped to me by my brother in Chicago so I can forward them on to her. Just trying to keep a little tradition alive.
December 24th, 2009 at 11:37 pm
Keep your memories close to your heart,they will get you through the best and worst of times.
Have a Blessed Christmas, Shannon.