The Indianapolis Colts won the Super Bowl today over the Chicago Bears but that wasn’t the whole story.

Before the opening coin flip, Chicago Bears quarterback Rex Grossman informed the referees that the union workers would be conducting a work stoppage to protest conditions. A list of grievances was handed to a referee who then used it for his second flag during the game. Having retrieved the paper from the mud, we can reveal the contents now:

Chicago Bears Work Stoppage
List of Grievances
by Chicago Bears Footballers
February 4, 2007

We, the union workers that comprise the Chicago Bears football team, hereby declare a work stoppage to protest the events leading up to, and the conditions present, for today’s Super Bowl.

1. That we were forced to practice for an extra week before the game.
2. That an unfair curfew was established which made partying our asses off all week long a real challenge.
3. That the old “Super Bowl Shuffle” video was resurrected by management to embarrass the team.
4. That a dome was not constructed over the stadium to shield us from this gawdawful rain.
5. That the winning “first black” super bowl coach is going to get way too much credit for our work.

Yahoo News has the full story of this strike.

It was a typical work slowdown. Bears players trotted and walked during their shifts, were missing from the floor at key moments, and were generally lackluster and unconcerned about their productivity.

Said Bears coach Lovie Smith after the game, “it became obvious about half way through the first quarter that something was up. Grossman told me that we ‘might score later’ and Tank Johnson said ‘I just don’t feel like moving right now.’