There are federal bailouts being handed out everywhere. This industry and that industry wants our tax dollars to keep them in high cotton. The porn industry wants their share. Read about it below.


Some leaders in the porn industry want their share of the federal bailout fad that’s sweeping the country. Its being called the Porn Bailout. With the new democratic administration poised to take power, everyone and their brother has their hands out for our tax dollars. The latest is the porn industry. Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis have announced that they will request an allocation from Congress of $5 billion. The money is to be used to bailout the adult entertainment industry.

“The take here is that everyone and their mother want to be bailed out from the banks to the big three,�? said Owen Moogan, spokesman for Larry Flynt. “The porn industry has been hurt by the downturn like everyone else and they are going to ask for the $5 billion. Is it the most serious thing in the world? Is it going to make the lives of Americans better if it happens? It is not for them to determine.�?

Francis said in a statement that “the US government should actively support the adult industry’s survival and growth, just as it feels the need to support any other industry cherished by the American people.”

“We should be delivering [the request] by the end of today to our congressmen and [Secretary of the Treasury Henry] Paulson asking for this $5 billion dollar bailout,�? he told CNN Wednesday.

Flynt and Francis concede the industry itself is in no financial danger — DVD sales have slipped over the past year, but Web traffic has continued to grow.

But the industry leaders said the issue is a nation in need. “People are too depressed to be sexually active,” Flynt said in the statement. “This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex.”

“With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It’s time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly.”

Right Pundits has previously reported that the porn and prostitution industries were prospering during these hard economic times. It seems that many people turn to illicit sex as a distraction when times are hard. No pun intended.

So will you have a problem with your tax dollars going to support the porn industry? If Obama’s administration bails out porn, will they bail me out of my mortgage? Where are the federal forms we need to fill out to get our own personal bailout?

With the federal government printing out money as fast as the money printing machines will work, then it’ll shortly be so worthless that they might as well bail us all out. It won’t mean anything anyway.

Comments are open for your porn industry bailout one liners. Ha!