I scored my yearly supply of underwear and socks today, and upon closer inspection, I was outraged that the boxer briefs I received are still being made with an old fashioned manufactures tag – the rather large kind that are sewn in and stick out so that you can see the reverse side for washing instructions in 3 friggin’ languages. I find this absolutely unacceptable, especially since the technology exists that would make such tags as obsolete as the gasoline engine or coal fired power plants.

For many years Fruit of the Loom and other manufactures tried to improve upon tagging methods. The advent of the glued on, flush fitting tag was a step in the right direction, but after several washings and dryings the shortcomings of this tag will almost always reveal themselves. The glues used for this tagging method will become rigid and brittle and eventually become more irritating than the polyester and nylon tag they had been using prior to this concept.

As the durability of inks and dyes improved, underwear manufactures invested a lot of time and money conducting top secret R&D projects, and the effort paid off big for one manufacture in particular. In October 2002, Hanes announced with much fanfare that they were retiring the “irritating tag? and introduced its new tagless T-shirt and tagless underwear became a reality soon after. That move was a much overdue improvement that should have been the beginning of the end for the antiquated process of tagging garments with (up until that point) conventional methods.

Its only logical to assume that tagless garments would have become the norm over the last 6 years, especially in underwear manufacturing, yet many companies that make the clothing that covers our most sensitive of body parts have not taken the steps necessary to retool and update their manufacturing processes in such a way that the consumer can enjoy the benefits of tagless under clothing. Not only is this wrong headed thinking on the part of the Big Underwear, it is an incalculable loss for the end user as far as comfort is concerned. Although the solution to the tagging problem exists, the money necessary to retool underwear factories seems to be the only rational explanation that could explain the inaction of Big Underwear to enter into the 21st century.

So, this is my appeal to Congress. Step in now and prevent the upcoming crisis that Big Underwear is either too arrogant to foresee, or so overconfident in their products that they believe they are too big to fail. Pelosi and Reid must start pressuring Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson to use some of the TARP funds to inject capital into US underwear companies for the purpose of upgrading or replacing the equipment necessary to eliminate the use of sewn in and glued on tags alike, and appoint an Underwear Czar to oversee the transition from tagged to tagless Ts, briefs, boxers, and the hybrid boxer briefs. The consequences of failing to act now are too momentous to ignore, and the continuing discomfort of the American consumer is an evil that can and must be thwarted.