Proving once again that moms are the brutal force behind naming children, the “top 10″ baby names of 2006 were revealed today. Never before has such a collection of wienie and floozy names been seen in the same place! You really want your son to be Noah? What’s an Aiden? Ever known a Logan?
How do you spell Kaitlyn, ma’am? Say it again please, and slowly. Are you sure Ava doesn’t begin with an E? Your daughter may like her strange name so much that she will want to catfight about it like Mariah Carey.
No Peter, Paul, or Mary. No Andrew, James, John, Philllip, or Thomas. No Rachel, Catherine, or Karen.
Sigh, I’m not saying it is all mom’s fault. If dads would simply reassert their primacy within the family unit, these things wouldn’t happen.
So these people completed their annual survey of top baby names for 2006:
| Rank | Boys | Girls |
| 1. | Aiden | Emma |
| 2. | Jacob | Madison |
| 3. | Ethan | Ava |
| 4. | Ryan | Emily |
| 5. | Matthew | Isabella |
| 6. | Jack | Kaitlyn |
| 7. | Noah | Sophia |
| 8. | Nicholas | Olivia |
| 9. | Joshua | Abigail |
| 10. | Logan | Hailey |
What do these baby names have in common? For one, lots of letter I’s and Y’s on the girls side, like the unnecessary purchases made during a mommy’s shopping spree. Note that letter Y is so superfluous that it isn’t even included in the Italian alphabet.
Want to doom your child to forever spelling her name over the phone to incompetent customer service people? Go ahead, just name her Hailey or Kaitlyn.
The other thing they have in common, of course, is that no dad picked these names. Not one. Well okay, maybe Jack, but that’s it.
December 12th, 2006 at 11:26 am
Wow. I’m sure glad we picked the nice, normal, traditional names that we did! And yes, it was a joint effort!
On the other hand, I received an email from someone a few years ago. She was announcing that they were having a girl. And they had the name picked out. Odd name. Without revealing the name online, the email went something like this:
“Her name is going to be [XXXXXX]. I haven’t figured out how to spell it or prounounce it yet, but that is her name.”
Poor kid. Doomed from the start.
December 12th, 2006 at 2:00 pm
You would love some of the names I have heard. I’ve worked in hospitals many years and hubby is a physician. It’s pathetic the names some women come up with.
Nosmoka is one of them (taken from a no smoking sign as they were wheeled into delivery).
I’ve seen many Omar Shariff Jones, and John Wayne Jones, …
December 12th, 2006 at 3:08 pm
[...] Original post by McCain [...]
December 12th, 2006 at 4:44 pm
Susan – HA! Bet you don’t have to spell YOUR name!
Debbie – Ditto to you. But Nosmoka?
Susan and Debbie, Debbie and Susan. How wonderfully unstrange!
December 13th, 2006 at 12:39 pm
Actually, do you know how frequently young people around DC used to ask me how to spell Susan? Yep, names are so warped these days that people can’t even spell the easy ones!
Proud mama to Michael Robert and Matthew Charles!
June 7th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
No offense, but how would anyone have trouble spelling “Logan” “Emma” “Emily” “Ethan” “Joshua” “Noah” “Madison” and most of the names on the list?
I know the whole “People these days, you’d be surprised” saying, but all those names are tradition English names, spelled normally.
But I do understand names like “Ava” “Hailey” and “Aiden” being a little questionable, but something like “Matthew”?
Matthew was a book in the bible, if I’m correct, pretty basic Caucasian, Christian (so normal) name.
Now, Olivia, Sophia, and Isabella are a little complex, almost exotic, but traditional and English all the same.
It’s just that, what you should really be complaining about is those names like Laquisha (or other ghetto names) , or the fake weird names celebrities give their kids.
Next to those oddities, there’s nothing wrong with the current top names.
It’s just modern parents (mostly mothers like you say) taking a little lee-way with naming.
It isn’t too bad, though.
February 22nd, 2009 at 6:02 pm
We have be careful to choice names for our baby. The meaningful it must be.