I’ve spent a good portion of my professional career working with addicts and alcoholics. One thing I learned early on was that they can be extremely creative in masking their drug and alcohol addictions. In fact, the more addicted they become, the more creative they get.
Over the years, I think I heard it all. If your job gives drug screens, then you find ways of keeping urine handy and at body temperature so you can have it on hand if your boss suddenly decides to send you for a drug screen. Do I need to get specific about the various ways that people have come up with to accomplish this not-so-easy-to-do task? I didn’t think so.
As people found more and more … emmmm … interesting ways to get and keep clean urine for drug screens, employers and law enforcement have had to get more and more strident in how they test urine. Long ago, many have gone to observed urine test. As I’m sure you know, that means you have to pull your little willy out and give the urine test with some guy standing there observing you. The feminine version is basically the same only without a willy and a female observer.
Its been a while since I’ve worked in that field and I discovered today that I am definitely out of the loop on the latest and greatest in the constant give and take between creative masking of drug use and law enforcement figuring out how to catch them.
Now we have the Whizzinator and the Number 1. No. I’m. Not. Kidding.
A couple of guys just plead guilty to selling drug masking products over the internet.
The owners of the company that made the Whizzinator, a prosthetic penis used to mask illegal drugs in urine, pleaded guilty in federal court today to two counts of conspiracy.
Gerald Wills, the president of Puck Technology, based in Signal Hill, Calif., and Robert D. Catalano, the vice president, were charged by criminal complaint last month with selling two masking products, the Whizzinator and Number 1
Both were sold through their Web sites.
As part of the investigation, there were two undercover purchases of the products on Sept. 8, 2006, and Feb. 7, 2007.
Mr. Catalano and Mr. Wills pleaded guilty to conspiracy to sell drug paraphernalia and conspiracy to defraud the United States government.
Puck Technology also pleaded guilty to the same charges. The company has stopped operating.
So the … Whizzinator (descriptive name!) … is a prosthetic penis that can be used to mask drug use. Its actually brilliant in its simplicity. The urine is kept handy (so to speak), at body temperature (drug testers do take the temperature to make sure its not been stored in someones purse or something), and it looks like a real penis (most observers are not going to get out a magnifying glass to make sure that thang is real).
The thing that I keep wondering as I’m reading about these two products is who got suspicious and how did they get suspicious. Did someone actually LOOK that closely while observing a urine test? I just don’t know. I DO know it wasn’t me and that’s the most I want to know about it. It reminds me of why I’m glad I don’t do that kind of work anymore.
Of course you want to see the NSFW photos of what the Whizzinator looks like, don’t you. I figured you did, you naughty boys and girls.
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