Here is the compelling visual evidence that Barack Obama shaves his chest. What a remarkable habit for a presidential candidate!
We’ve been sitting on this story for a while because although the prospect is rather incredible to some, it is seemingly routine for a populist candidate in our effeminized culture. But after getting nothing but silence from the Obama campaign after several inquiries, there is nothing more to do but move forward with the photos.
It is hard to escape the conclusion that Obama shaves his chest from this photo evidence. The question is do you care?
Exhibit 1. The famous bare-chested image of Barack Obama frolicking on the beach like a scene from Beach Blanket Babylon has been burnt into our consciences already. There He is! A dynamic dashing young hero we imagine chasing a volleyball or frisbee, or helping a Harp Seal back to sea.
Cherish those memories of gathering driftwood for our group’s bonfire where we sing Pete Seeger folk songs in a smoky mist! Maybe he is just collecting shells or feeling the undertow tingle through his toes. Whatever he is doing, We the Voters love it!
What our Right Pundits forensic expert noticed was the shiny smooth chest, while he un-gamely ignored the underlying campaign imagery. “Not a single chest hair” in place, he noted suspiciously to our jaw-dropping incredulity. C’mon, we said. Not everybody has chest hair. Right? Then we discovered that others have noticed something is missing as well.
Turns out that Obama’s father had chest hair, and so we began a search for early Obama photos. This job was not easy. We noted that all of Obama’s Indonesia photos are missing from the internet database, back when he was practicing Islam at his father’s mosque. These have apparently been scrubbed out of existence.
So we go back less further in time, when Barack Obama was in Hawaii before embarking on his self-described “lifetime of personal discovery” as Sarah Palin reminded us during her convention speech. Most of the early images cover Obama’s chest hair as if he were embarrassed to have it, but there are three that show hints of it. One is practically irrefutable.
So bingo, there is the money shot. Exhibit 2.
We leave the rest to the voters and interested sociologists like us who study American culture to decide if and why an effeminate politician matters. Why Obama shaves his chest hair is something the campaign has thus far not answered. We submit it may be a healthy sign of evolution for the ideal American Male.
And that is because to many progressive Americans, Obama’s shaven chest exemplifies the quintessential metrosexual male we have come to consider an Ideal Man in the 21st century. We noted voter impressions on this issue during the Joe Biden botox story. And even today comes the story of Obama supporters throwing orgasm parties. It all fits the same pattern of emerging sexual roles, examples of “change” so to speak.
After all, the old American Male ideal has been successfully sissified by decades of the feminist war attacking our DNA, like a massive infection finally beating the white blood cells. The ideal American Man is just not as manly as before, and so we might expect a gravitational shift in public taste toward a milksoppish presidential candidate.
Some Neanderthals from our fathers’ generation will boo but passionate warriors in the culture war will cheer. Isn’t it desirable that our commanders in chief reflect our cultural development as a people, like Nero once reflected Rome? So milktoast is the new black, Obama shaves his chest. Get over it.
More photos of Barack Obama’s chest are below. Curious as to reader thoughts.









October 11th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
I have additional photos of Obama without chest hair. My source doesn’t want me making them public yet, because the Obama people will know the source. In due time.
October 11th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Ick. I’d rather see McCain’s scars. At least it proves he’s lived and done something with his life. Save the waxed chests for the gay Chelsea boys.
October 11th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
I agree with Wendy. I like manly men. Metros aren’t my cup of tea.
October 11th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Reminds me of that Seinfeld where he shaves his chest.
October 11th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
If thats the case then I’ll bet he waxes his balls too.
October 11th, 2008 at 7:17 pm
ROFL! Waxed balls
October 11th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
oh ack at obama-balls.
October 11th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
I heard McCain gets a Brazilian wax job every week with Cindy
October 11th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
I know this is a funny little piece to break up the serious of the political stuff, but its also another tell tell sign of just how phony and manufactured he is.
October 11th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
By looking at his body.. I do not think he does it for looks… Maybe he just had some upper chest hair and thought it looked funny.. or Michelle likes a smooth chested man.. I would shave my chest for my wife lol.. Het if Seinfeld does it..anyone should be able to do it
October 12th, 2008 at 6:33 am
You people are nuts. The world is on the brink of financial disaster, and this is what you want to discuss? It would be ok, maybe, if it were just this one thing, but it is over and over and over again. The only thing we should be interested in is what the two candidates plan to do when and if they get elected, not chest hair. This site should close down.
October 12th, 2008 at 6:45 am
Obama has already tried, Edward, but the milktoast failed. What exactly are You planning to do to silence critics?
October 12th, 2008 at 6:51 am
Men shouldnt shave their chest.
Waxing is the preferable method because when the stubble grows back it gives your ladies nipples a rash.
October 12th, 2008 at 6:52 am
Ed.
You go ahead and wallow in your misery.
But stop peeing on what little fun we have
October 12th, 2008 at 8:02 am
Can we get together to raise the necessary funds to have the stick surgically removed from Edward’s ass?
October 12th, 2008 at 8:07 am
Wendy, the economy has suffered enough blows as it is.
October 12th, 2008 at 8:16 am
Maybe Ed will get mad enough to throw his computer out of his window in the next day or 2.
October 12th, 2008 at 8:49 am
What good is that when you’re in a basement ?
Besides that he’s probably jacked in like someone in the Matrix.
Maybe one of those sentient agents, ya know, like some miserable drone with no purpose but to f*ck everything up
October 12th, 2008 at 10:24 am
Obama shaves his chest.
So what?
This article, dear McCain, does little more than prove your homoerotic insecurities. Your sexual maturity is about at the level of a 16 year old jock trying to find his place among his peers.
In my eyes, a true man doesn’t leave his disabled wife behind to screw around with someone else’s woman, but maybe I’m just old-fashioned.
October 12th, 2008 at 10:53 am
Jay.
I take offense of you applying some kind of homoerotic label to a guy who was just writting a frivolous/for fun article.
What you pretend to know about anyones sexuality on this blog due to crackpot humor proves what a humongous f*cking idiot you are.
Im my eyes, a true man doesnt run around pretending he knows sh*t without the facts.
An old fashioned man actually used to just dump his kids and wife ad bail.
McCain accepted responsabilty and gave his ex pretty much the whole damn farm and still gets along her closely til this day as his children have always been more than well cared for also.
In my eyes a true man does not lie about his past and deny it to the whole country that he expects to elect him to office.
In my eyes a true man does not believe that a baby is punishment.
In my eyes a true man does not hold himself close to anyone in any fashion who at one time attacked his own country by bombing its pentagon/capitol, and other establisments.
In my eyes a true man does not participate in a religious theoligy that hates the country it exists in and offers appeasment and excuses to that countrys enemies for its actions.
In my eyes a real man does not participate but deny his involvement in one our countrys largest finacial disasters by turning around and blaming everyone but himself and his cohorts , but instead blames the present administration as a means to elevate his candidacy.
You of all people should be examining what a real man is.
They have a sense of humor
October 12th, 2008 at 11:17 am
Jay, let’s face it, Obama is a bit of a SheMale to his supporters, which is the attraction and point of this news article. Don’t you agree that in embracing all change, He is a powerful emblem of human sexual freedom including gender change reversal?
October 12th, 2008 at 11:28 am
And on a second note Jay.
As far as insecurities goes. Would a man who shaves his chest not have more issues with security than one who doesnt ?
I get the impression from your statement that its OK. for a man to go to excessive physical measures in order to make himself more appealing to a mate instead of devolping the soul, personality and morale whithin.
So tell me, do you tweeze, pluck, shave or wax and all the while think that glowing personality will cover for whatever physical shortcumings you might have ?
October 12th, 2008 at 11:30 am
Does anyone think Obama would be comfy sitting next to Destin Gerek ?
October 12th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Micky,
would you label a woman who shaves her armpits and legs as insecure?
October 12th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Right Jay, that was brilliant.
Does it make the woman ?