Here is the compelling visual evidence that Barack Obama shaves his chest. What a remarkable habit for a presidential candidate!
We’ve been sitting on this story for a while because although the prospect is rather incredible to some, it is seemingly routine for a populist candidate in our effeminized culture. But after getting nothing but silence from the Obama campaign after several inquiries, there is nothing more to do but move forward with the photos.
It is hard to escape the conclusion that Obama shaves his chest from this photo evidence. The question is do you care?
Exhibit 1. The famous bare-chested image of Barack Obama frolicking on the beach like a scene from Beach Blanket Babylon has been burnt into our consciences already. There He is! A dynamic dashing young hero we imagine chasing a volleyball or frisbee, or helping a Harp Seal back to sea.
Cherish those memories of gathering driftwood for our group’s bonfire where we sing Pete Seeger folk songs in a smoky mist! Maybe he is just collecting shells or feeling the undertow tingle through his toes. Whatever he is doing, We the Voters love it!
What our Right Pundits forensic expert noticed was the shiny smooth chest, while he un-gamely ignored the underlying campaign imagery. “Not a single chest hair” in place, he noted suspiciously to our jaw-dropping incredulity. C’mon, we said. Not everybody has chest hair. Right? Then we discovered that others have noticed something is missing as well.
Turns out that Obama’s father had chest hair, and so we began a search for early Obama photos. This job was not easy. We noted that all of Obama’s Indonesia photos are missing from the internet database, back when he was practicing Islam at his father’s mosque. These have apparently been scrubbed out of existence.
So we go back less further in time, when Barack Obama was in Hawaii before embarking on his self-described “lifetime of personal discovery” as Sarah Palin reminded us during her convention speech. Most of the early images cover Obama’s chest hair as if he were embarrassed to have it, but there are three that show hints of it. One is practically irrefutable.
So bingo, there is the money shot. Exhibit 2.
We leave the rest to the voters and interested sociologists like us who study American culture to decide if and why an effeminate politician matters. Why Obama shaves his chest hair is something the campaign has thus far not answered. We submit it may be a healthy sign of evolution for the ideal American Male.
And that is because to many progressive Americans, Obama’s shaven chest exemplifies the quintessential metrosexual male we have come to consider an Ideal Man in the 21st century. We noted voter impressions on this issue during the Joe Biden botox story. And even today comes the story of Obama supporters throwing orgasm parties. It all fits the same pattern of emerging sexual roles, examples of “change” so to speak.
After all, the old American Male ideal has been successfully sissified by decades of the feminist war attacking our DNA, like a massive infection finally beating the white blood cells. The ideal American Man is just not as manly as before, and so we might expect a gravitational shift in public taste toward a milksoppish presidential candidate.
Some Neanderthals from our fathers’ generation will boo but passionate warriors in the culture war will cheer. Isn’t it desirable that our commanders in chief reflect our cultural development as a people, like Nero once reflected Rome? So milktoast is the new black, Obama shaves his chest. Get over it.
More photos of Barack Obama’s chest are below. Curious as to reader thoughts.