I am weak, I admit it. I am simply not strong enough to tolerate the celebration of HopeandChange for 16 hours a day. I can’t help it. My brain is hurting from the amount of slavering I’m hearing from various news anchors and pundits on every single network. This would be an excellent week to invade a country or pass a controversial law, because there is no other news taking place. C’mon – invade Canada! No one will notice, I promise!

I tried to make a drinking game out of how many times I heard the words “hope” or “change”, but I eventually had to be rushed to the emergency room to have my stomach pumped and my liver rehydrated. There is no way I can make it all the way through to the coronation tomorrow night.

Can’t we talk about something else, even for a few moments? C’mon, surely we can come up with five minutes of news that doesn’t involve King Obama and the Obamettes? How about the war? Is it on hold for the duration of the DNC? Has anyone checked in on Bob Novack lately – he also has a brain tumor, you know.  Or, what are your plans for Labor Day Weekend? Anything, please! Spare me the Obamanation!