Last night′s TV options were slim. Do I watch ″Th Horse Soldiers″ for the 500th time (Ding-Dong, Ding-Dong) or ″The Sting″ for maybe the 300th time? But wait! The Decades Channel, which blends history with entertainment, was running a weekend-long marathon of the ″Adventures of Superman″. Yes, Superman, strange visitor from another planet with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. Superman, who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel in his bare hands. And who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper, fights a never-ending battle for Truth, Justice, and the American Way! Or does he? Is Superman really a gun-grabbing Liberal? Clark Kent is, after all, a newspaper reporter, which statistically gives him about a 95% chance of being either a registered Democrat or a card-carrying member of the Communist Party! Somebody call HUAC!

You think I′m joking, huh? Think again! I′m serious! Especially after watching one of the more famous episodes from the first season of the classic TV series, ″The Unknown People″. Actually, it was a two-parter, I think the only example for the series. The story line is that Clark Kent and Lois Lane travel to some town where a drilling company has drilled a shaft 6 miles deep into the Earth′s crust. Short, mole-like humanoids emerge and raise havoc. An angry mob forms to hunt the creatures down and shoots one, wounding it. Kent manages to get the wounded mole-man to the local hospital where a young, ′compassionate′ doctor dispenses free healthcare and treats the wound. But, the angry mob gathers wants more blood!

Whenever you have an angry mob, things tend to get ugly and they did. Kent changes into Superman and stops the mob from entering the hospital. But somebody fires a shot and nearly hits Lois Lane, the Phyllis Coates version. Now, if it had been my favorite, Noel Neill, I might have been as outraged as Superman was. Anyway, Superman declares that the mob has shown that they are too irresponsible to possess firearms, and he makes quick work of taking away everyone′s guns and bending them with his mighty hands. The destruction of private property and denying citizens of their right to own and bear firearms. Somebody should read Superman the Constitution!

I′ve never been a Superman fan. Frankly, I′ve never cared for most of the DC Comics superheroes. Take Bruce Wayne, for example. Limousine-Liberal do-gooder, always funding ′Progressive′ agendas and causes. Most of Gotham City′s super-villains get out of prison after very short stays thanks to Wayne Foundation programs. You would think that guys like The Joker, Riddler or Penguin would be tossed into a ′super-max′ facility and serve multiple lifetime sentences without the prospect of a parole.

How about the hypocrisy of Wonder Woman? She starts off fighting Nazis because of their whole ′master race′ thing. But, isn′t she, herself, part of a master race? Is her true motivation really to restrict membership to the Master Race Club? We don′t want any upstart, mortal humans acting like immortal Amazonians, now do we? That would end the monopoly that Paradise Island has.

I am always amused when I think about how much brainwashing we are subjected to by the military-industrial-entertainment complex. Our education system is bad enough, but add to that the rest of our cultural institutions and the picture grows increasingly grim. Is it any wonder that Barack Hussein Obama won two terms and the odds are high that Lying-Crooked Hillary Rodham Clinton might replace him?

Now, I raise this bit of levity after hearing about how the Democratic Party is planning on pushing their gun-grabbing agenda this July Fourth. They are calling for Democrats to have conversations with family and friends about having more restrictive gun laws during holiday picnics and parties. Much like how Obama wanted people to discuss ObamaCare during Thanksgiving holidays. That is how they plan to celebrate our Independence Day. A day, largely due in thanks to an armed population. Minute Men is not some vulgar slur about sexual shortcomings. It refers to ordinary, average Americans, whom were called upon to arm themselves and respond immediately to a threat. In this case, the threat was the tyranny of King George III.

Today, there are threats everywhere, home and abroad. From the crackhead down the street who wants your property so he can use it in exchange for getting drugs to fanatics inspired by cult-like ideologies to kill non-believers. Liberals will say that we don′t want to live in a ′Wild West′ society where everyone is wearing a six-gun on their their hips. Of course, history teaches us that there were more homicides committed in the ′pacified′ East since most people went about unarmed and were helpless. The West was wild because there was little government and few lawmen about. But, when it comes right down to hard reality, there are never enough lawmen around anyway. You are always at the mercy of would-be criminals and the like.

This is equally true in the case of Superman. He can only do one thing at a time, no matter how fast or powerful he is. If Lois Lane happens to be in trouble at the same time you need help, you are on your own! Even Superman plays favorites and has priorities. There is a pecking order and you will always be Number 2 or worse on his list.

So will you talk gun control with your family and friends on the 4th of July as the Democratic Party is encouraging? Do you agree with me that Superman is an illegal alien, an illegal space alien to boot, and has no business telling us what to do or interfering with our gun rights? That the Second Amendment guarantees our right of self-defense, whether it be from crackheads, radical Islamic terrorists, or Mole Men from the Earth′s core? I guess I should also open the discussion to which Lois Lane was better? Phyllis Coates or Noel Neill? Or are you stuck on more recent versions like Margot Kidder and Teri Hatcher? How do you like your brain washed? Fluffy or dry-cleaned?

For more fun, follow Andrew Zarowny on Facebook, or on Twitter @mrcapitalist.