Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia! Today is July 5th, which means it is X-Day, 2015, a major holiday of the Church of the Sub-Genius. Actually, this is the 18th X-Day, as the first was celebrated in 1998. The Church believed that aliens from Planet X would arrive that day at 7am. First, they would save all Sub-Genius ′SubGenii′ in ′The Rupture′, whisking them away in the aliens′ Pleasure Saucers. Then the Elder Gods would wipe out most of humanity, leaving some humans left to become slaves of the evil clowns of the Bozo Cult. Needless to say, that didn′t happen! But still, its all good fun, isn′t it? For those of you whom have no idea what I′m talking about, permit me to give you a brief look into the Church of the Sub-Genius, including the Immanentising of the Eschaton!

The origins of this silliness probably go back to 1938 when political theoretician, Eric Voegelin, fled Nazi Germany and landed in America. Voegelin wrote ′The Political Religions′, a tome on what he saw as tyrannical governments turned their political ideologies into religious cults. We see much of the same sort of thinking by Progressive Liberals through ′political correctness′. Voegelin made the connection between Communism and National Socialism with Gnosticism. That their goal of creating a utopia on Earth by turning political theory into a working society is to ′Immanentize the Eschaton′. The Eschaton being the last, final stage of human existence, achieving its ultimate goals. In the 1950s, the early Conservative movement, led by William F. Buckley, warned not to immanentize the eschaton, as that would be our doom.

As counter-culture began to rise in its criticism of commercialism and conformity through the 1960s, humor played an important role. Even before the assassination of John F. Kennedy, there was a growing number of people who gave ear to various conspiracy theories which emerged during the Cold War. Some of the ′Red Scare′ theories, like the fluoridation of drinking water, became the subject of popular fiction and entertainment, such as the Stanley Kubrick film, ″Dr. Strangelove″. From this a pair of religions were born by the early 1970s.

Playboy author Anton Wilson essentially created the Discodria Church in his comical, sci-fi trilogy of ″The Illuminati″ series. In Texas, we had another writer, Ivan Stang, who co-founded the Church of the Sub-Genius along with Philo Drummond and the mysterious Dr. X. According to their legend, the Church was founded in 1953 by J. R. ′Bob′ Dobbs, the ultimate salesman and con-artist. Believe it or not, you probably have seen an image of ′Bob′ at some point in your life. He is depicted as a sort of Ward Cleaver type with a Don Draper haircut and usually sporting a pipe.

′Bob′ is said to have been contacted by the space alien god, Jehovah 1, or JHVH1, in the 1940s. During this encounter, ′Bob′ was given insights into the past, present and future, as well as ′the power of Slack′. As a member of Sub-Genius, your mission is to acquire as much Slack as possible, which is to say achieve as much comfort as possible with as little work and effort. Sub-Genius is basically the religion of the entitlement. You are entitled to get as much Slack as possible. One could say that Barack Obama is the new ′Pope-King′ of Sub-Genius, as he entire agenda, and life, is based upon Slack.

So how do you celebrate X-Day? For the first one, a gathering of Church members was held in Sherman, New York. About 400 people showed up at a camping site and partied hard, clothing optional. Today, there are concerts and festivals held nationwide, mostly for listening to live music and getting stoned on the drugs of their choice. Yet, they still hope that as descendents of the Yeti, they will be rescued by the aliens in The Rupture as the final apocalypse occurs after the Immanentizing of the Eschaton. So Hail Eris, all Hail Discordia! Or, as ′Bob′ would say, grab all the Slack you can! The End is nearer than you think.