I want to reassure those on the right who are afraid of shutting down the government to defund Obamacare, there is no reason to fear. I have a foolproof plan for the shutdown, to keep the liberals appeased as the process takes place, and mitigate any negative press.

Each day of the shutdown, all we have to do is declare a Federal Holiday in honor of some great liberal. We can have Ted Kennedy Day, FDR Day, Michael Moore Day… heck, Hillary Clinton may be worthy of THREE days!

This way, it won’t seem like such a big deal to everybody, it will simply be concurrent national holidays to pay homage to the great liberal minds in American history. After all, we do routinely shut down government for a variety of such holidays, and the sky never seems to fall. The left could try to portray us as the ‘bad guys’ like they always do, but if we are busy celebrating Kathleen Sebelius Day, they will look like a bunch of goobs… oh wait, they already do! Well, anyway, you get my drift. The shutdown doesn’t have to be all gloom and doom, we can make it a fun and educational event.

I keep hearing the reluctant hesitancy for the GOP to carry this debate over funding Obamacare to an actual government shutdown. The same supposed ‘conservatives’ who told us for weeks that we can’t possibly defund Obamacare, are now warning us that a government shutdown will be blamed on the Republicans, and we’ll be sorry. Hey, newsflash: The Left is ALWAYS blaming Republicans! How the hell is this something new?

Let’s understand something, the government shuts down all the time of it’s own accord. Every Friday, it shuts down promptly at 5:00 p.m., and doesn’t open again until Monday at 8:00 a.m. Then there are the eleven federal holidays (most of us get 5), these can sometimes stretch into periods of as much as a week or more off, as in the case of Christmas and New Years, depending on when they fall. So the idea that we’re somehow going to be left twisting in the wind with no government, is very much laughable.

All essential services still operate during a government shutdown. All government checks and invoices for at least a month will be paid on time, as scheduled. Social Security recipients will still get their checks, soldiers will still get their pay, and don’t worry, all the disability checks are going to be received on time as well. Now, beyond a month, there might begin to be some problems, but we’ve never had a government shutdown to last that long. The record is 21 days, but it is this particular shutdown that has some ‘conservatives’ shaking in their boots.

You see, we have a contingent of “political history experts” who have ‘studied’ all of this, and they tell us that the shutdown between December 16, 1995, and January 6, 1996, was a “bad thing for republicans.” I believe this is because of popular mainstream media, pushing the narrative. It’s like Iraq being Bush’s Mistake. Conventional wisdom has decided that Gingrich shutting down Slick Willie’s government for 21 days, culminated in ‘bad things’ for the Republican party in the next elections.

The fact is, they did lose some Senate seats, and subsequently, control of the Senate. But keep in mind, this was before Jumpin’ Jim Jeffords and when Arlen Specter was still a stalwart Republican. Republicans barely had control of the Senate, and all kinds of shenanigans happened to remove the gavel from their hands. In the House, the GOP actually gained some seats in the following election. But let’s not look at this from a “political party” perspective, let’s instead look at the principles and reasons behind the shutdown, and what the results were.

The Gingrich shutdown was primarily over two main issues, welfare reform and a balanced budget plan. I realize some of you may not have been around back then to actually know what happened, but Clinton ended up passing welfare reform and balanced the budget, two achievements he and his sycophants have lauded ever since. Any political historian would have to conclude, aside from his ability to tag an intern half his age, these were his crowning presidential accomplishments. Now, I think that might be worthy of a Federal Holiday, to be honest! Hear, hear!

In essence, the “right” got what they wanted, welfare reform and a balanced budget. So why did the GOP lose Senate seats and not really gain any ground on democrats? I think a lot of it had to do with some simple truths; Welfare was reformed, but the dems were allowed to sneak back in all sorts of other spending programs to basically offset the savings in welfare reform, so we didn’t really ‘save’ any money. And the grass roots initiative for a Balanced Budget Amendment, was effectively sacrificed for a promise that would inevitably be broken the following cycle. In any event, it was not the shutdown that caused the backlash, it was abandoning principle, giving in to the democrats, and not fighting for core conservative values, that cost republicans in the next elections. This continues to be the Republican’s main threat, the inability to stand up for principle.

It is when Republicans back down from the fight, try to ‘appease’ the liberals, not make waves… that’s when they get their political clocks cleaned. Today, we have actual conservative republicans telling us, let’s pass in trying to defund Obamacare and let it ‘collapse under it’s own weight.’ As if ANY liberal social entitlement program has EVER collapsed under it’s own weight? Are these conservatives really that naive? The liberal democrats will truck in trillions of tons of concrete and steel to reinforce the weight, don’t you understand that? Once Obamacare is enacted, it’s over, you will NEVER get rid of it. It’s NEVER going to collapse from it’s own weight, the liberal democrats will forever see to that, and if you dare to try and obstruct them, they will unleash liberal hell on you.

I haven’t ever been great with math, but I know that it costs our government about $3.75 trillion to ‘operate’ last year. I think that is about $10 billion per day, but I could be way off. In any event, for every day we shut down government, we potentially save a bunch of money, because it’s not running.

I propose we take a small portion of that savings, and each day of shutdown we hold a parade somewhere, in honor of whatever liberal we’ve proclaimed a national holiday for. The media could spend the day discussing the great contributions the liberal of honor has made to society, and deflect the time they would otherwise devote to trashing mean old republicans. This could generate tons of local revenue from vendors and patrons, helping the struggling economies all over America. We could award trophies and prizes to the best float, have pie eating contests and dunking booths for bored politicians who don’t have anything to do! You know, really make an event out of it?