Barack Hussein Obama will be giving what is being billed as a ′major speech′ on the economy tomorrow. Once again, Obama is ′pivoting′, for about the 666th time, back to economic issues to deflect from the latest revelations concerning the IRS, NSA and Benghazi scandals. Will Obama say anything new? Of course not! Which begs the question of whether or not Obama needs a ′butt funnel′? So just what is a ′butt funnel′?

obama economy speech

I know what you are thinking! Here I go again with some derogatory remark about Michelle Obama′s enormous behind. Nope! Nothing of the sort. Who says that TV is not educational? I just learned a few weeks ago what a butt funnel is while watching Spike TV′s hit show, ′Bar Rescue′. The show features Jon Taffer, the Einstein of ′bar science′, who claims to be the inventor of the butt funnel.

The butt funnel is a narrow opening in an obstacle which divides two or more sections of a bar. Its designed purpose is to promote human interaction. For example, let us say that there is a rail barrier dividing the dance floor of a night club from the bar or service area. I could be sitting at the bar and notice a lovely lady, say Kimberly Guilfoyle, dancing away. Inspired by her shapely legs and even shapelier body, I notice that she is headed for the butt funnel to leave the dance floor area. So I swagger over and pass her while in the butt funnel. Perhaps we brush each other and make eye contact, leading to an exchange of verbal salutations and later I buy her a drink and strike up a conversation. Woo-Hoo!

Okay, enough of my dream-date fantasy! Aside from romantic and familial relationships, Ayn Rand tells us that economics is the most important form of human interaction. One person or group hopes to achieve satisfaction of a need or desire while another person or group strives to fulfill such at a profit. So, in this regard, an economic butt funnel would be something that helps promote new economic interactions, guiding two entities towards satisfying each other′s desires. Or as Mad Men character Don Draper would put it, happiness is just a moment before you want more happiness.

The problem is that so far, Obama has placed nothing but further barriers up to restrict and discourage economic activity. About the only butt funnel he has invested in, green energy, has turned out to be a total boondoggle. Obama′s economic policies have been a disaster so far. He blames others, like George W. Bush or House Republicans, for all of his own failures and steals credit from Ben Bernanke for the little good news on the economy that we do have.

So, perhaps the butt funnel that would help the most would be one that promotes Barack Hussein Obama to actually interact with members of the GOP in Congress? Forcing him to put aside his own twisted views for the good of the nation. The Obama administration has so far only helped cause stagnation in our economy. There seems little hope that Obama will say anything new in his speech tomorrow on the economy. With the clock ticking away as we approach the 2014 mid-term elections, Obama is running out of time before he becomes a true ′lame duck′ president. He has, at best, maybe 10 months before that window closes completely. With budget and debt-limit issues pending to be resolved soon, Obama will need a very deep and large butt funnel to get any program through the Congress. Once the window closes, well, then we′re back to commenting on Michelle′s butt again!