Are you ready for my Sharknado movie review? Yes, I actually watched the re-airing of Sharknado on the SyFy Channel last night. How lucky you all are that I did so you do not have to waste two hours of your lives! There was some small consolation in that I did not waste my evening watching the Leprechaun, Bill O′Reilly. , bloviate about whatever issues were rubbing his rhubarb the wrong way. Nor did I listen to ′The Great One′, Mark Levin, rant and rave about the ′Constituuuuuution.′ So, yes, I watched SHARKNADO and am proud to have done so!

Sharknado movie review

Naturally, since the SyFy Channel is part of the Military-Industrial-Entertainment complex, the movie leaned far to the Left. Of course, the massive hurricane which spawns Sharknado was caused by climate change and/or global warming. The opening scene was a PSA about the illegal fishing industry. Plus we have the usual anti-Man theme where the hero is little more than a washed-up, middle-aged surfer bum whose ex-wife and daughter are disappointed with.

There were two good things about Sharknado. First being Tara Reid. Yum-Yum! One can easily understand why sharks would come flying out of the ocean to nibble at her! The other fun part of the movie was watching sharks devour citizens of Southern California. This was very comforting since most of them were probably either Liberal Democrats or, at the very least, Low-Information-Obama-Voters. So depopulating them was gratifying.

My two favorite scenes from SHARKNADO both take place at a liquor store. Where else do Californians go when they run out of gasoline? The owner tells our band of heroes that the government is behind SHARKNADO. He added, ″Government with a big ′G′!″ Obviously a reference to Freemasonry! While watching a local TV news report, we have the obligatory weather-girl doing a live-shot outside in the storm. The temperature must have been below 80 degrees as her thinned-out, SoCal blood required her to wear a fur-lined parka. But she paid the price for wearing fur as a shark eats her.

As for bad scenes, there were simply too many to list in any coherent fashion. Ripping off lines from ″Jaws″ was bad enough. I must say that as far as this being a scary movie, SHARKNADO was pretty lame. The scariest program on TV yesterday was a rerun of ′Kitchen Nightmare′, the episode where Chef Gordon Ramsay saves the NYC eatery, Dillons. The only fresh protein in the restaurant were the cockroaches and mice. The meat was green and the vegetables were disgusting. The place should have had a sign out front saying, ″Free E Coli with every Salad.″ If Mayor ′Doomberg′ really cared about the health of New Yorkers, he would stop wasting time on restricting sugar, salt and trans fats and allocate more resources to health inspectors. Who knows how many people the place made sick or even killed with their poisonous food before Ramsay straightened them out!

I won′t give away the ending of SHARKNADO in my movie review, except to say that it does involve a chainsaw. Perhaps the SyFy Channel sequel will be SHARKNADO vs the Zombie Apocalypse? I enjoy a good, schlock movie as much as the next fellow, but this one was a real stinker.