It is a Festivus for the rest of us! Happy Festivus 2012! Yes, today is Festivus, the holiday invented by Frank Costanza, father of George from the TV sitcom ′Seinfeld′. Angered by the commercialism of Christmas, the Constanzas celebrated their own holiday, complete with an aluminum pole instead of a Christmas tree. But before we get to the ′Feats of Strength′ we will first have the ′Airing of Grievances.′ As Frank would say, ″I have a lot of problems with you people!″ Especially with you Low Information Voters who reelected Barack Hussein Obama! But first, I need to rant about ′Miracle on 34th Street′ and the all important issue of who was a better Kris Kringle – Santa Claus? Edmund Gwenn or Sir Richard Attenborough?
No offense to Sir Richard, he′s a fine actor and probably a better film director. But for me, I always think of him as ′Big X′ in ′The Great Escape.′ My basic problem with the 1994 version of Miracle on 34th Street is that there is no Macy′s! How can you get away with that? Also, Elizabeth Perkins might be okay, but she′s no Maureen O′Hara. And what has Mara Wilson ever done after the holiday remake? Natalie Wood went on to have quite the career, even if it did end tragically.
For my money there is simply no substitute. The original 1947 Miracle on 34th Street is the far superior movie. Call me a sentimental softy, but even I get teary-eyed when Gwenn-Kringle starts singing with the little Dutch girl orphan! Edmund Gwenn is the better Kris Kringle – Santa Claus by a mile and a half at least. The whole film is far better, too. After all, without the whole Macy′s versus Gimble′s sub-plot, what is the point? May as well call the movie Miracle on Some Street Somewhere. Plus, just from a social standpoint, the 1947 version was ground-breaking. The movie was actually condemned by the Catholic League because the Maureen O′Hara character, Doris Walker, was a divorced, single mother. Ooh, I can feel the fires of Hell already!
As for you Low Information Voters who reelected Barack Hussein Obama, there is no Santa Claus for you! You might think that you elected Santa Claus. That your stockings will be filled with food stamps and free cell phones. Oh Joy! But I have news for you, America is doomed thanks to your vote! Which, of course, brings us to the unspeakable topic of the power of voting is the power to exercise force, and yes, even violence! According to Merrriam-Webster, violence is ″the exertion of physical force so as to injure or abuse or injury by or as if by distortion, infringement, or profanation.″
Yes, we heard it from Obama′s own mouth that a vote for him was a vote for revenge. Reelecting Obama was an act of violence upon on economy, values and safety. Thanks to you Low Information Voters, we will all be poorer, especially the children and grandchildren of future generations. How does it feel to abuse and injure children, especially those yet to be born? Or the elderly retirees who are already facing cuts in Medicare thanks to Obama funding his specious healthcare program? Are you proud of acting on revenge instead of love?
So much for the ′Airing of Grievances′, now, let us move on to the ′Feats of Strength.′ After which, we can all enjoy dinner celebrating a Festivus for the rest us! While Frank Costanza of ′Seinfeld′ digs in his crawl space for his aluminum pole, I want to wish you all a Happy Festivus 2012!