These early primaries mean nothing. Forget about Romney, McCain, Huckabee and that joke Giuliani. The truly brave and worthy in our country know and understand that Dr. Ron Paul will be our next President. Dr. Paul’s strong second place finish in the Nevada caucus PROVES that momentum is on the side of the righteous. Against either Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton, it is a fact that he will win every electoral vote. Hail to our next President!
As President our glorious leader will in his 100 days of office accomplish the following:
1. We will wipe out the results of the civil war and recognize the Confederate States of America. Certainly, we can find an ancestor of Jefferson Davis who will be willing to sit as an acting President. As for African Americans who are living in the confederation - you never had the legal right to not be slaves. Get over it.
2. All support and aid to Israel will cease and desist by executive proclamation. As scholars of constitutional law, we are absolutely certain that congress does not need to be consulted on this issue. We don’t need any friends in the middle-east. Furthermore, what right does congress have to exist? We will save that issue for our second term.
3. Our first cabinet appointment will be David Duke as attorney general. Has the world ever had an individual so uniquely qualified to expense justice to such a diverse population?
4. We sincerely and desperately want to help homosexuals and all those who believe that issues of marriage are a matter of liberty (HA, HA) between 2 adults. As such we will create camps, er…special vacation resorts to help these individuals see the light. Your length of stay will be dependent upon how quickly we can help you.
5. There will be no more of our hard earned money spent on the so-called epidemic of Aids in Africa. We need that money to build our camps..er… vacation resorts. Anyway, we don’t want foreigners buying our stuff anyway so why should we care what happens to them? Not that we are hateful or anything.
6. All military institutions will be disbanded and replaced with citizen militias. Our enemies will then love us and not wish us any harm whatsoever. It is befuddling that America has not seen fit to implement this easy solution.
7. All government law enforcement agencies - FBI, CIA, ATF and so forth will be disbanded immediately as they represent a significant danger to the liberty of “true” Americans. All enforcement will henceforth be coordinated through the new “Minister of Justice”, David Duke. He is a true patriot and will be given the autonomy to dispense justice as he sees fit. Certainly, a man of such standing can be trusted.
8. All bankers or as we will now refer to them, “shylocks” will be relocated to northern Maine and will not be allowed access to any instrument that could possibly allow them to exploit our citizens. There will be no phones, computers or calculators in this enclave. Please do not let this upset you. It will only be temporary, maybe 40 or so years. Then it won’t be necessary anymore.
9. Allow me to introduce my Vice-President - Dennis Kucinich!
10. Any resemblance to Lyndon LaRouche is merely coincidental.
How could anyone not want the glorious Dr. Ron Paul as our next President?
Note - The above is intended for amusement purposes only and does not purport to be Dr. Paul’s true positions. At least, I hope they are not his true positions. Some of the above are extrapolations from a newsletter that was written under his name from the 1990’s. Paul states that he was not aware of what was written in his newsletter. That is the most interesting position I have seen politican take since President Clinton lectured opposing counsel on the definition of the word “is”. The rest is humor and hyperbole. I type this disclaimer because I know it is very easy to get the pauliacs enraged. Gang - this is the big time. You have to learn how to take the heavy hits.
January 20th, 2008 at 11:20 am
ummmm … i like northern maine …
put your camps in a state no one cares about anyway … like georgia
January 20th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Is this a reprint from one of Ron Paul’s newsletters?
January 20th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Not a reprint - more like an interpretation. That is the reason for the disclosure at the bottom. In general, they do represent the views that his newsletter held. The camps are solely an exaggeration and he never inferred as much at least from what I could find out. It is just parody, nothing more.
I really think Ron Paul would make a great president. I have also have some valuable swamp land in Jersey that I think you should buy.
January 20th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
lisab - hmmmm…. had Tim seeen you post? He might not like the camps in his backyard, but as long as he’s till allowed to hunt wild beasties for dinner, he’ll get over it.
Why doesn’t Ron Paul drop out? Its scary that he’s getting any votes. Although your post is in jest, MDeFl, he is pretty wacked out…
January 20th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Every time I hear this guy speak I wonder how he managed to become a doctor since he obviously doesn’t have the common sense that God gave to a goose. He lost my attention when he started talking about abolishing the FBI and other such nutty nonsense.
Maybe Dr. Paul should form his own political party. He could run on the Anarchist ticket with some scumbag sidekick like Nadine Strossen, Peter Dale Scott, or Danny Grover.
Better yet, Dr. Paul could take a few of those campaign funds that he’s giving to the media outlets for ads that know one is going to listen too and buy an island somewhere in the South Pacific and form his own version of a Utopian society.
January 22nd, 2008 at 4:24 am
Just me - I couldn’t agree more. As for medical school - truct me, getting in is the hard part After that, they do everything to help you pass. Just because he’s a physician, doesn’t mean he’s smarter than anyone else…
January 23rd, 2008 at 11:38 am
Ah yes. Ron Paul is a crazy man. His ideas of small government is absolutely crazy! Following the Constitution is an absolutely ludicris idea. How about you google Ron Paul , check out some of his you tube videos and actually learn the facts before you spit out half truths to anybody that will listen. Ron Paul stands for the CONSTITUTION , and for FREEDOM , jackass. But its ok , just turn on your tv and watch some FOX news , youll soon realize that everything is ok , now go back to sleep.
P.S. If you take power away from federal beurocrats in DC. , and give it BACK to the states , then YOU would have ALOT more say in government. Small government equals freedom , just ask Jefferson or Washington , but I bet you guys think that the Founding Fathers were just a bunch of radical terrorists, huh ?
January 23rd, 2008 at 1:13 pm
I would say Ron Paul is only half-crazy. His limited-government philosophy is what conservatism is about, inexplicably forgotten by today’s Republicans. We should move power from the federal government to states and localities, and ideally to individual responsiblity. Government is most effective when done by the lowest common denominator.
And his isolationist approach to foreign policy was for the most part US policy from Washington until FDR, and even championed by George Bush II himself. But that is a complicated topic. As the world becomes closer via trade and communication, it becomes more difficult for the US to move further away from enemies.
Where Ron Paul begins to sound like a crazy man is when he shouts nonsensical slogans like “follow the constitution.” The courts declare what is constitutional when there are disputes about it, not Ron Paul. That is why the ridiculous usurping of local power is “constitutional,” bloated federal bureaucracies which spend us into oblivion are “constitutional” and why the Iraq executive action is “constitutional.” Ron Paul’s interpretation of the constitution is interesting, and one I might usually agree with, but that doesn’t make it correct. If he wants a different interpretation, he should get an amendment passed to change (or clarify) the constitution favorably.
He therefore seems a bit delusional on this point, and his followers seem like well-meaning misfits who don’t understand our system of government but rally around slogans.
October 14th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
Perfect timing! I was just researching #keyword