So is Lowell Turpin of Tennessee a Democrat? That’s a reasonable guess considering the awesome thing he is accused by police of doing and believing about his Facebook-loving girlfriend, a Mitt Romney supporter named Crystal Gray. Democrat voters in the last two presidential election cycles were lower educated than their Republican counterparts, and statistics also show they are also more prone to violent crime. Tea-party supporters and Republicans generally are more law-abiding and successful people.


Photo: Lowell Turpin (left)

I know. I know. Stick to the facts please. The facts loosely are that this Tennessee man found a smiling, handsome picture of Mitt Romney on his girlfriend’s Facebook account one day. He angrily accused Crystal Gray of having a steamy affair with the presidential candidate. She patiently explained that he was a political figure she likes, and then he proceeded to destroy the laptop in a fit of jealous rage according to police reports which you can read for yourself here. Along the way he almost broke her hand as she fought for her laptop and beloved photo of her candidate.

As for his political biography, there is very little known about Mr. Turpin online except that we discovered a source that says he lived in Nancy, Kentucky (a red state), in 2008. Apparently fed up with conservatives, he moved to Anderson County, Tennessee (purple state) in the recent past. He is 40-years old and his empathetic Republican girlfriend is 38. Don’t you want to know what the voter registration rolls say about him? So do I, almost as much as pictures of Crystal Gray which are proving elusive.

A Mitt Romney affair discovered on Facebook? Say it ain’t so. She did. Unfortunately Lowell Turpin did not believe her and the rest is history. He is currently in jail on a $10,000 bond, which we hear he might be able to obtain with Obama’s stimulus money.

His opponent in the race, the current incumbent whose initials are B.O. has been accused of multiple affairs, both heterosexual ones and batting for the other team, but none have been quite like this very interesting story in Tennessee. You can watch the video below and help us remember the saga of Vera Baker.

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