Right Pundits

The Center for Disease Control provides data that allows anyone to calculate the likelihood of their own impending death. Using this information, Slate permits us to determine the likelihood that any Supreme Court Justice, or any combination of Justices, will die in the next four years. This is important, obviously, since we are all interested in how many Justices are likely to be replaced by President Obama. Here are the relevant odds:

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Following the fiscal cliff debacle, we heard Republican politicians recite the claim that they would, first, demand federal budget cuts and, second, demand that President Obama provide specific cuts in that federal budget for our next federal ‘crisis’, the debt limit extension. There are only two problems with that. Obama will never provide specific cuts now; the opportunity for that ended this week. As well, nobody who has examined Republican politicians this century can reasonably argue that they actually believe in spending cuts, other than cutting Big Bird. That’s fine, I guess. But, assuming that someone, anyone, in the GOP wants to win a quadrennial election in the near future, they must present a reasonable alternative to the Democrats.

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Last night on an all new episode of Jesse Ventura Conspiracy Theory on Tru TV, Jesse and his team were on the hunt for humanzee. Human-chimpanzee hybrids allegedly being produced by our government, through DARPA, at the Yerkes National Primate Research Center in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Animal cruelty investigator, Chris DeRose, tells Jesse about chimera experiments involving breeding sheep with human livers, mice with human brains, pigs with human blood and other ′Manimal′ hybrids. Are these ′parahumans′ being genetically modified to create a supply of human organs for medical transplants? Or is our government preparing an army of ′chuman′ super-soldiers to suppress, and even eat, a rebellious citizenry should the nation default on its debts to Goldman Sachs?

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Tru TV moved Jesse Ventura Conspiacry Theory to Monday nights at 11pm Eastern and last night′s episode was about the Skinwalker Ranch and space-billionaire Robert Bigelow. Has the United States government privatized its UFO research? Bigelow Aerospace already has launched into orbit two experimental inflatable space stations, Genisis I & II and recently inked a deal with SpaceX for more launches. Is Bigelow building a hotel in space for tourists, or is he preparing to escape an alien attack? Just what does he know about UFOs? Jesse Ventura sets out to learn the truth.

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No, Jesse Ventura and his Conspiracy Theory team did not time travel back to the first Thanksgiving Day with the Pilgrims at Plymouth Rock. But they did investigate claims made by a former Carter administration adviser, Alfred Webre and an actual time traveler, or chrononaut, Andrew Basiago concerning a DARPA-CIA time travel experiment. Along the way we touch base with the Philadelphia Experiment, the Montauk Chair, and other goodies leading us to Project Pegasus. This was an alleged program which sent 140 children between the ages of 7 through 11 back through time to intervene in historical events. Basagio was one of these children who claims to have been photographed while attending Abraham Lincoln′s Gettysburg Address. He also says that another child in the program was none other than Barack Hussein Obama!

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We have a new zombie alert from the Department of Homeland Security. FEMA Camps, here we come as we seek to avoid CDC flesh-eating zombies. Yes, the United States CDC Zombie Protection Plan is being adopted by the DHS, perhaps as part of a government zombie task force by the Department of Defense? But are ready are you to follow the recommendations of the CDC Plan for Zombie Apocalypse?

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Glenn Beck – America will survive past 2016

Our old pal Glenn Beck was on ′Stossel′ last night on the Fox Business Network. John Stossel had Beck, along with John Bolton, Pat Buchanan and other guests discussing whether or not America is in decline and growing weaker? Glenn Beck thinks that America will not survive past 2016 as a republic. That we are on the ′Road to Serfdom′ and there is very little that can be done to alter that course. Pitch-fork Pat was probably even gloomier, citing how demographics have trapped Western Civilization in a death spiral. While they fear for riots and chaos here in the United States, the general consensus is that the bottom will fall out of Europe, first, starting with Greece. Just watch the video below of a Greek talk show where a Neo-Nazi slaps around a Communist woman.

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The Secret Service scandal concerning the alleged hooker party in Colombia became more troubling today. News that David Chaney, who had once protected Sarah Palin back during the 2008 campaign, apparently posted lewd remarks about the former Alaskan governor on his Facebook page. Even Nancy Pelosi is upset about the Secret Service ′wheels-up′ party at the Hotel Caribe, calling it ″disgusting.″ Investigators in Cartegena have been busy piecing together the chain of events, interviewing hotel staff and others, including taxis drivers. As of today, as many as six agents of the Secret Service, including Chaney, have either resigned, retired or left under ′unfortunate circumstances.′

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